We’re in the judge’s chambers in the middle of a trial. We’ve gone back there to argue about 
an objection the DA is making to something I was asking his witness. I don’t understand the point the prosecutor is making. Don’t think the judge does either because he repeats everything the DA is saying like it’s a puzzle and he keeps adding pieces to the puzzle. This was supposed to take a minute – the jury is waiting in the courtroom – but its stretching out to twenty minutes.
My mind is wandering. I don’t care what the ruling is just please let’s get out of here the standing up while the thing is being discussed to death is killing me. I can’t take the standing – my hips ache. The judge doesn’t care. He’s sitting on a little stool in between me and the DA like a midget referee.
I’ve totally tuned out. Should I take my dog for a walk when I get home or should I work out? It’s been awhile since I worked out but Louie my dog hasn’t been on a walk forever. The walk can be a work out couldn’t it? Boy, this chambers is like a man’s den you’d see on Father Knows Best, lots of leather. I’m sure it’s “decorated”. Did he do it? Nah his wife must have decorated. I wouldn’t mind having an office like this…
The judge is talking like he’s winding up. He does. He gets up from his stool. Shit I missed it. What did he say?
“Oh” I say “can you repeat your ruling your honor?” He stands up and puts his face right up to my face our noses almost touching. I can feel him breathing. He holds my arms in his hands so I can’t move. What’s he going to do? Beat me up? Put a knife in my gut? This judge is crazy he could do anything.
In a loud voice he carefully enunciates – “I want you to listen carefully to my rulings do you understand me?” “Yes your honor.” I follow him out of chambers into the courtroom like a chastened schoolboy.
He scared the hell out of me.